I originally joined this club back in March of 2000 (10 freakin’ years ago!) and I go through periods where I kind of slack on keeping up with trades and being active, but I’m so happy I’ve stayed on as a member! EVERYONE that belongs to this club is SO friendly and creative… They’re all a real inspiration.

For those who haven’t heard of this club before, it’s an online community designed to help people make friends through a pretty rockin’ process… You design a 40×40 pixel “patch” and you trade this patch with other peoples’ to build a quilt. Check mine out by either clicking the dancing bees up by the mushrooms on my layout or click the little bee to the left at the end of my mini site description. Or, if you’re feeling lazy, at least look at my patch that I spent a ridiculous amount of time re-doing until I felt it was perfect:

SO. If you already are a member and haven’t traded with me, send me an e-mail so we can!

The major points: I’m going back to school in the Fall to get certified in webdesign. I might be moving depending on how much of a discount my landlord is willing (or not willing) to give me on my rent while I’m in school (and I have a few promising places in mind if I do have to move). My birthday is coming up (June 2nd) and I’ll be 23 – no real plans yet other than my wonderful boyfriend Ben wants to take me out to dinner.

The finer points: I’m feeling much more motivated lately to work on my website and learn more about CSS3 and HTML5. I’m also planning on cracking open my gigantic PHP book and hopefully learn something from that (I know some random basic PHP crap… obviously enough to make my website function properly :P). I also want to get more familiar with Photoshop.

Other than that, like I said, Life’s good I’ve been getting great hours at the restaurant I work at and have been making good money.

Ben also started taking me fishing, which is oddly addictive. I was all about using live bait too until I had to bait my own hook… I was assuming we’d be using little red worms but nooo. We used the huge slimy night crawlers that poop on you and bleed and get their guts all over you and squirm while you’re trying to get it on the damn hook >.< Freakin' grody, dude. I'd post a picture of my awesome catch too, but I caught aaaabsolutely nothing. Maybe next time :P

Lastly, new awesome site I found while stumbling: StereoMood. Enjoy

Last.fm – Keeps track of the music you play on your computer. Check mine out here

Mint – Helps you budget your money. It stays up to date on all your credit cards, savings, and checking accounts and keeps track of how much money your spending each month on things like gas, clothes, food, etc.

Stumble – I post this one with a word of caution; don’t even bother unless you have AT LEAST 30 minutes of your life to waste on totally pointless and ridiculously entertaining crap. If you’re ever bored, stumble away! There’s no doubt you’ll be entertained and occupied for much longer than you intended. Hope you didn’t have any important plans!

Texts From Last Night – Another website that is WAY more entertaining than it should be. At least to me! People submit the ridiculous texts they’ve received/sent and they then get posted for the world to laugh at. I even have the application on my phone

ThisNext – Shopping made fabulous! Want to find a dress with strawberry print online? Or mushroom salt and pepper shakers? How about one that other people have bought and recommended? Use this site to find pretty much anything you could ever want.

#1 Song on This Date in History – What was the #1 song on the day YOU were born?

I decided to seriously start saving my money for something big… Maybe a new car, or a big move to some place totally different. I’m ready for a big change, and I figure I’d better do it while I’m still young and have no serious ties to any particular place. It’ll take me a few months to get the money saved up, but I’m patient I’d never complain about spending a few more months in my home town.

AS FOR MY FREAKING WEBSITE THAT I’VE BEEN NEGLECTING HARDCORE… Here’s your chance; suggest some things for me to add. Please, be specific. More pages? Additions to certain pages? I’m afraid I can’t take on anything big at the moment (like new layouts or anything), but I’m open to just expanding on what I’ve got. I haven’t felt very creative lately and I really wanna get that spark back. I miss pixeling

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We ended up talking for a while and I think we’re going to be okay as friends. He was going through an exceptionally rough time when I broke the news to him that he needed to pay my mom back. I was still hurt that he reacted to me the way he did, but I know that people will act out of character under stress.

More another time.

Brief overview (hopefully): We dated for about a year and a half and he lived with me. I supported him 100%. I paid for everything from rent, bills, to basics like food and shampoo. I was stressed about money A LOT and it caused a lot of fights… I needed him to get a job and he just “couldn’t get one.” He had a job 2 summers ago but he didn’t make anything and could barely afford to feed himself with what money he did make. I drove him everywhere ’cause he didn’t have a car, let him borrow my car all the time, paid for school supplies for him, drove him 5 hours to see his parents, let him borrow my car to do that as well when I was out of town once, bought him clothes, basically anything you can do for someone else. My mom also paid for a winter session college class for him on the condition that he pay her back when he could.

So this August when he went back to college I just couldn’t take it anymore. I realized that he wouldn’t recognize responsibility or accountability if it bitchslapped him across the face and I couldn’t afford to take care of him anymore. About a month after I broke up with him I found out he was engaged to someone. Don’t even try to tell me that there wasn’t anything going on when we were together if you’re already engaged a month after we broke up. Might not have been happening physically, but it’s pretty obvious he was talking to this girl and emotionally cheating on me.

Blah blah blah main part I’ve been trying to get to… last night I was out to eat with my mom and I was saying how I was struggling a little bit financially and she asked if it was any better since I broke up with Kelly and I told her it was but it just sucks ’cause I got my current apartment with the expectation that I’d only be paying for half. She asked me if he ever gave me any money whatsoever and I told her no. He might’ve paid for a dinner here and there but he never gave me any money towards rent or bills or gas or anything like that. She said she thought he gave me the money ($585) that she lent him for his winter session class and that I just didn’t give it to her. I told her that wasn’t the case and that I never got anything for rent, security deposit, gas, or repayment for the class (or anything else for that matter) and she got SUPER pissed. Like she was ready to track him down and strangle him. She was SO mad at him all along for never helping me at all… she told me from the start that he was taking advantage of me, but I loved him. She also told me she had a bad feeling about lending him the money. So last night I decided to get ahold of Kelly before my mom got to him ’cause I assumed him and I would have a more civil conversation than my mom and him would.. I tried calling him, couldn’t get ahold of him, told him the situation and that he needed to call me back soon before my mom got ahold of him. Here’s the text conversation that ensued…

Me: Seriously. Call me before she calls you. She’s wicked pissed off and needs the money like now. She says it was a loan not a gift. My mom didn’t realize that you stiffed us totally. She thought you just paid me the money and she was cool with that cuz she knew I needed it. So we were talkin about it tonight and i said you never gave me anything as repayment for your class or anything else and she was like “ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME?”
Me: So a response would be good about now. Anything to calm her down a bit cuz she’s about to get in her car and tell you herself. And do you still have my moms key to her apt? I don’t think I got that back.
Kelly: What!?? I dont have your moms apt key what is the deal i dont have anything that has anything to do with you at all and as for money i dont have any to repay
Me: Trust me, you have to pay her back. She’ll get much more serious about it if you don’t start payin back in increments
Kelly: How the hell do you expect me to pay off that money and this is really weird to me that all of a sudden this is happening this is ridiculous
Me: She thought you had paid me back for it way before. And you’ll have to pay a little at a time. She told you from the start it was a loan and you were supposed to pay it back. Why would it be weird? Did you just expect to not pay her back?
Kelly: No she didnt say from the start this was a loan she did it as a favor to me and it was i who was grateful and said i’ll try to pay you back.
Me: Lol nope. She said she’d “absolutely never” do it was just a favor.
Kelly: Right well of course not and your mom so desperately needs five hundred dollars? As opposed to this bs where now i have to deal with you again. Well i cant pay her back now im sorry ive got no money and what i do have is going towards an apartment i can start paying her back once i’m done working after the semester.
Me: Uhm its her money. She needs it back. We were talking about bad finances and you came up. She asked me if you paid me back the security deposit or anything. Well after the semester set up a firm payment plan and follow through or my mom is calling her lawyer and we’re goin for what you owe me too. You have a week to get details to us
Kelly: Right so now that we’re no longer together lets fuck kelly over and get him back cuz i wasnt able to pay anything i thought we were over why cant this just go
Me: Cuz you owe my mom $585. Sorry its either that or all you owe me in addition. You fucked me over first, btw. Don’t act like the victim after I supported you for a year and a half.
Kelly: Fine whatever honestly i’ll set some bs payment plan i will fucking pay it off and you can fuck off this is unbelievable
Me: Sorry if asking you to be responsible and accountable is such a stretch for you
Kelly: Ok first summer i worked nypirg and paid for whatever i could with what little money i got so dont fucking go there you bitched about never having money
Me: Because I had to spend it to keep 2 people afloat.
Kelly: ok well i’ll call by next monday dont talk to me til then im home im with family i dont want my thanksgiving ruined by the likes of you seriously. Honestly if i had known how important money and success was to you from the start id have never gone with you
Me: that’s a weird way of thanking me for taking care of you. But k. Ttyl.

WHERE THE FUCK DOES HE GET OFF BEING SUCH A FUCKING DICK TO ME?! I FUCKING GAVE HIM EVERYTHING I COULD BOTH FINANCIALLY AND EMOTIONALLY! I was drained in every aspect… I was constantly stressed out about going broke and he just wouldn’t get a job. He said he tried, but how long does it really take to get a job? I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve needed a job and wasn’t able to get one within a week. I told him before he moved in with me back in April that if he didn’t have a job before he moved into my new apt with me then he couldn’t live there. I was a fucking sucker though ’cause I loved him and let him move in anyway. He didn’t get a job until the beginning of August. I never saw a cent of repayment to me from that job even.

This isn’t he first time since we broke up that he’s said something genuinely nasty to me too. I don’t understand where his hostility comes from. What more could I have even done for him?

In other more exciting news, I GOT A BLACKBERRY CURVE!!! It’s seriously on par with getting a new puppy. I spent today monkeying around with it and I’m in love. Here’s a picture to demonstrate how absurd my love is for my new phone:

Oh yeah, I also dyed my hair darker again First time all by myself. I think I permanently dyed one of my fingernails black though… would nail polish remover work for that?

There’s this guy at work that has been flirting with me for a long time. He even did back when I worked here over a year ago and when I came back he went straight back into it. I never paid any attention to it really because I was always in a relationship, BUT NOW…

A lot of things happened and we’ve been hanging out a lot lately (his name is Luke) and seriously, I adore him. He tells me that he thinks I’m beautiful all the time, brings me flowers, and the way he looks at me… omg. He lives out in the country too and last week we went 4 wheeling (SO MUCH FUN) and we spent the day at his house. We’ve gone to play pool & tennis too. He schooled me at both but it was still a blast

Short post ’cause I didn’t realize how exhausted I was. More next time <3

PS – Am currently working on some new sets for my web materials. Coming soon!

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